Nick Byrne: Improvisation Coach on Authenticity, Finding Your True Self, and the Art of Connection | Be Yourself Podcast

Nick Byrne

Australian improvisation coach and founder of Impro Act — on why your authentic self is your best self, how improv removes the fear of failure, why trying to please everyone pleases no one, and three skills that transform every conversation

Watch on YouTube Nick's Website
32 minutes
Improvisation · Authenticity · Connection · True Self

About the Guest

Nick Byrne — Improvisation Coach, Founder of Impro Act

An Australian improvisation coach who came up through music and theatre before improv became his life's work — because of the human angle: watching people become more themselves every day

He travels the world leading master classes and performances, and came to Ukraine to teach at Kyiv's Pro English Theatre Club — a privilege, he says, and a personality that reminds him of Australians

Who He Is
Australian improvisation coach and founder of Impro Act, leading master classes and performances around the world
His Method
relaxation, mindfulness and presence first — then people do things they thought they couldn't, like sing or perform Shakespeare
The Show — Inspired
a one-man performance that proves to every audience member that their own ordinary story is inspirational
His Philosophy
your authentic self is your best self — the barriers to connecting with people are all self-made

Key Quotes

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your authentic self is your best self if you're just caring about the other person they will think I like this guy and they will ask you what you do

Nick Byrne
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trying to please everyone is pleasing no one but what we do want to have in our life is a unique tribe

Nick Byrne
“

it's a absolute privilege to be here and you're you're right about the Ukrainian personality it's very poetic but also you're always having fun you know even in this difficult which is quite quite like Australians

Nick Byrne

Episode Chapters

0:00 Episode Teaser 1:00 How Nick Got into Improvising 3:22 True Self is the Best Self 5:18 Can You Be Unlikeable? 6:35 Pleasing Everyone 7:28 Coaching Authenticity through Improv Classes 10:30 Interactive Work with the Audience 12:07 Converting Ordinary into Extraordinary 14:46 Choosing to Have a Smile 16:05 Attributes of a Great Speaker 17:30 Transformational Moments 19:22 The Work You Can't Leave 21:59 Golden Rule of Attraction 22:45 Skill 1: Focus Out 25:07 Skill 2: "Yes, and" 27:55 Skill 3: Connect with Your Body 28:43 Invitation to Visit Ukraine

Full Transcript

BTW: This episode of the Be Yourself Podcast is produced by Beverly Media. Want a podcast that looks and sounds this good? Check out Beverly Production →
0:00 Episode Teaser
Nick so you help people to dig and find their authentic selves in a way or showcase that's right because your authentic self is your best self if you're just caring about the other person they will think I like this guy and they will ask you what you do trying to please everyone is pleasing no one but what we do want to have in our life is a unique tribe it's a absolute privilege to be here and you're you're right about the Ukrainian personality it's very poetic but also you're always having fun you know even in this difficult which is quite quite like Australians
1:00 How Nick Got into Improvising
Serhiy Australians hello everybody Welcome to the Beer self podcast the podcast on expressing our true selves today I'm joined by Nick burn hi who is an international improviser the owner of impro act School in Australia hi Nick
Nick hi
Serhiy thanks for joining me man the way we met each other is the definition of improvisation in a way right yeah I was just crossing down the hall here in beautiful aof hotel hotel and I saw Nick and I just stopped and decided to make connection and it was so awesome that I found out what he's doing is directly connected to such things like this like connecting in the most unpredictable way tell me about improvisation world and how you've been exploring it and created a business out of it Nick
Nick sure uh well I was uh always in performing arts and uh I guess I was more into music when I first left school and then musical theater took over and then uh regular scripted theater took over and then uh improvising took over okay and uh I think what uh I think why I've stuck with that is uh definitely this this human angle yeah because we're doing it now we haven't prepared this interview everybody watching you're doing it right now even if you're just picking up your cup of coffee you might stumble slightly and have to change uh what you're doing so um every conversation every interaction is uh is partly improvised but we don't learn how to do that as effectively no one teaches this Us in school right yeah so I I teach it uh for theater uh my my advertising says for theater and life and uh uh that's how it is and that's what has has stuck me with it because you see people uh becoming uh more of themselves every day more confident every day and they tell you so it's a really really nice soul food as a as a job um and you feel like you're doing something worthwhile to help people to dig and find their authentic selves in a way or showcase
3:22 True Self is the Best Self
Nick that's right because uh your authentic self is your best self uh most of the time uh we have some sort of inner monologue that tells us we have to be something more social media something different uh we have to look like this or in in our work or or what we are passionate about wouldn't it be great if I could be like that person yeah but you can't uh the good good thing is though they can't be better you than you and we were talking earlier what I do know is uh you uh are likable and you are enough if there's something uh getting in the way it's the barrier that you put up when you're trying to be somebody that you're not and if people aren't connecting with you it's probably because uh they can smell the smoke that it's not completely true and completely authentic but it doesn't matter what your personality is whether you're extrovert introvert whether you're direct or very polite doesn't matter if if you're confident and comfortable with yourself people will connect and like they will empathize with it
Serhiy quick one guys if you enjoyed this episode with Nick and you would like more conversations spontaneous conversations like this one hit subscribe button that helps us more than you can imagine enjoy the show further and thanks a lot for your support I asked Nick earlier what if your authentic self is not likely yeah
5:18 Can You Be Unlikeable?
Nick well well pretty much that isn't really the case you know of course some people connect more than other types of people but what I said was uh there are people who have led the worst lives possible currently going to schools with children you know yeah and giving talks yeah lead a better life and and all the teachers are are sitting around going oh aren't they wonderful and you know what probably all things considered not so wonderful so uh if you um if you are honest with people and especially if you reveal uh the vulnerable Parts about yourself yeah the part when you weren't the hero the part when you did the wrong thing and so on people just like you even more for it um weirdly enough yeah yeah because you're you're human you're real and they relate to their own life story yeah and so on well you you cannot be liked by everyone so trying to please everyone this was this what I learned from sales that trying to please everyone is
6:35 Pleasing Everyone
Nick pleasing no one but what we do want to have in our life is a unique tribe right people who share our values and by trans translating your real values you give yourself a chance to find real true people your real connections
Serhiy that's right well you used the phrase uh trying to please yeah everyone no you can't do that you cannot it's just that you simply will please a much higher percentage of the population if you're not trying to
Nick interesting that's the thing if you're just being yourself it allows them to be comfortable
7:28 Coaching Authenticity through Improv Classes
Serhiy I'm interested how do you teach people to be themselves through your coaching through the Improv lessons and through the business that you run
Nick yeah it's I wouldn't say um I'm the standard improv teacher okay uh but uh but there are certainly improv teachers like me uh probably when people think of improv theater just one one disclaimer guys Nick is about to go give a performance in K Pro theater Club goodas to these guys so you're traveling like crazy you're going to be in tomorrow so Nick is traveling the world and uh help schools with actors to do improv right just a small remark okay yeah yeah that's right um and so uh most people when they think of improv theater they're thinking fast funny how how can I be clever and so on so some teaching styles aren't exactly impress every single time it's not exactly true which which doesn't work because you will sometimes and you will fail sometimes more like a standup comedian but if you are presenting authentically as yourself then uh just the mechanics of the mind of the audience watching you and the people that you're performing with the way they understand your honesty is by making connections with their own experiences in their own life which is the definition of empathy yeah which is pretty much exactly the same as liking you more okay so actually you you remove this percentage of pass and fail and instead of scoring your performance publicly 1 to 10 we can just get rid of 1 to four and you might have some performances that are five or six and some great ones but if you're authentic the audience already likes you okay and they already like you every time so you can relax and not have that uh problem of worrying about whether it's going to fail or not it's just going to be okay or it's going to be great um and and so I teach people to relax I use a lot of relaxation and mindfulness techniques in the classes okay and then when people are relaxed then I trick them into doing things that they couldn't do they thought they couldn't do like sing or or do Shakespeare or something like that
Serhiy and you play with audience always is that what you do during the performances this performance I'm using the audience quite
10:30 Interactive Work with the Audience
Nick a bit mhm uh in this performance which is called inspired uh I'm actually proving to the audience that each and every member of the audience is also inspirational it's just that uh usually when you get someone out to start the little process I do um nearly everyone thinks they're either boring yep or crazy one or the other tell me about it that's what they think it's an impostor syndrome man that's what they think but the reality is they're all amazing and inspiring it's just that your own experiences either seem boring or crazy to you but if you dig into you know you're a podcaster you're interviewing people you know if you dig further in I know that that person I'm talking to is about to say something that the audience will go what you you did that and this is the inspired moment and then I do maybe a a scene or a song or a poem or a story or act with them or something for a little while MH and then you know everyone has empathized with their authenticity and I say see they all love you off you go and I get another one
Serhiy but Nick isn't it something that actors teach also they make even the boring
12:07 Converting Ordinary into Extraordinary
Serhiy story sound fascinating isn't this is a part of what you do is it supposed to be done like this
Nick that that is true so I mean obviously you know it's funny how people find what is just ordinary quite interesting so if I'm getting actors to tell each other's stories I might say oh don't look for the interesting one just tell me the story of yesterday like I got up I had breakfast and The Listener uh needs to say more when they're interested in something so for example it's pretty hard to get past I had breakfast they always say more because just like social media people are just fascinated to know what you eat for some reason so people are actually very interested in the normal things because it makes them feel all right or they find out ah same as me I guess I'm okay or oh that's a way to have a more interesting breakfast than I do so it's true uh so we do of course work on uh presentation presentation skills yeah MH but but not not lying so you might be um uh you might be having a depressed time or you might be very tired or something so your presentation is you know not so great but if you can recall through acting technique that day that day that was your good day that morning when you're making the coffee and instead of going yeah something good happened the night before you know what I mean so maybe you're going making the coffee you can recall that day and you can switch that on for 10 seconds and if I switch that on for 10 seconds with you you're going to mirror that energy and it becomes a cycle and it's still 100% real it's still honest you did have that day that you so the point is not fake anything sorry to the listeners I just bashed the microphone there uh I promise not to do it again the point is not to fake anything like I I know that in sales courses they don't allow you to
14:46 Choosing to Have a Smile
Serhiy sound tired you know it's the end of your Working Day and it's your fifth call yeah yeah I had Alan Langer on my podcast who owns seven Secret Sales Academy and he says that you all Mak make a choice of attitude if it's your sixth call of the day and you tired as hell and first five didn't go well and you depressed in a way how can you make yourself but you can choose to actually have a smile and make this six skull of the day and I don't know bring smile to your face on the person on the other end
Nick you can and it can be real uh yeah just have to be real the reason is uh you think for example if I'm doing a show and it's going to go for two hours I could think oh yes of course I can turn on the energy but two hours but you don't need it for two hours MH you only need it for about 10 seconds because then you're starting the cycle and you're back in and if you drop out again well you can choose another 10 second
Serhiy so you're saying that a great speaker isn't always fired up like you know like super pumped
16:05 Attributes of a Great Speaker
Nick it's not the case at all great speaker is the one who can line up their energy with the audience energy is what you're saying yes and you also want natural Dynamics so uh of course if someone's very low and it's of course people are going to go to sleep but if someone's B the whole time also also puts them to sleep yeah you got to have thiser yeah so when people are being honest they will for example they won't think the first part of their story is very interesting so it might start with a closed stance and you know this this wasn't a very interesting thing that happened today but but when they there's a reason they're telling this story and when they get to that bit that was interesting and then this guy like they'll just yeah they will natur when you're being honest you will naturally have this up and down flow okay okay uh it's when you're thinking you need to perform some sort of magic trick of presentation that's when it looks weird
17:30 Transformational Moments
Serhiy yeah you know Nick I want to switch to um this interesting story of how you actually chose this profession is there something in your life that preceded this interesting because right now I mean I'm Envy of the the life that you have you travel the world you connect with amazing people around the world and you do what you seemly love was it always like that or were you was was there a transformational moments in your life
Nick there were I guess many moments uh but for example I was a professional musician for the first 15 years after I left school oh and I was at that time very different days I was earning above the average income in Australia for okay three or four nights a week for three or 4 hours not bad no no no invoices cash in hand here you go and right so pretty good job you would think yeah who would trade it it wasn't it I didn't like it that much really I'm going it was the same thing over and over and I would just like any job I go ah I got to go to work um so you don't know what it is you're going to be passionate about uh so it was already lucky and then it was theater and that was a bit of radio and uh I would this improvisation um uh angle uh arrived to me I didn't look for it uh a friend of mine started doing it and said oh why don't you try this with me I tried it I liked it yeah um but as
19:22 The Work You Can't Leave
Nick as I said the the reason I I couldn't leave it would be the difference it does make for people so oh uh the impact yeah the fact that I I'm accidentally at first uh playing a part in people feeling better about themselves well that's a job you can't leave wow wow
Serhiy and in a way I can connect with on on this with you because I produce this content and with the sole purpose of inspiring people and going deep on you know the journeys of other people with other people and just see the ways how the life can unfold if you just take chances so it's so great and I'm sure a good day for you is uh when somebody writes back and says thank you for that podcast I really feel it it makes it makes it it's just I don't need money when I get Fe feedback like that it just makes it a worthy worthy Endeavor
Nick absolutely and do you get a lot of we like a little money because you know we have rent and you know but uh yeah you're totally altruistic if if somebody if occasionally you're in some I like to go to you know rich countries and poor I like to see everything MH uh if occasionally I turn up somewhere and somebody says um I have to tell you uh we didn't get um we didn't get people for the workshop and I I haven't got it oh oh no they say uh we haven't got we haven't got the money actually oh then I usually say but I can still do the workshop right you want to do the workshop yeah you know just don't don't cancel the workshop don't cancel the work this is such a game changer to understand that what you're doing is fulfilling by itself and it's not predicated on the number of people who come to to your show or who watch my YouTube video so but they they will come you know what I mean eventually if you're just being honest and yourself yeah that's right if it's if it's real and you're passionate and you have to do it and you've got to be yourself uh that becomes attractive really like no exceptions to
21:59 Golden Rule of Attraction
Nick this rule if you persevere if you're consistent and do this enough and you just put your real self out sooner or later people will notice you as as long as it's really your passion you know you're not fing you're not following someone oh I want to be um an actor I want to be an influencer blg but yeah the the real real reason is I want to be famous this is Reas then no that might not work yeah but if you just love sitting here talking to people and and putting it out there and if you just love doing it yeah it will work
Serhiy yeah so cool so cool can you give like some some some some Secrets um and how to become better improv performer skills one to three and I mean in in in like
22:45 Skill 1: Focus Out
Nick well okay and this is for life or stage okay so uh number one Focus out on the other person never think of your about yourself yes because uh it it's uh not only nicer you know they're feeling listened to and want to engage and so you you have a good active engagement um but it's easier so uh if I'm on stage and uh I I have something in my hand as a prop and I I drop it then I'm thinking uh did the audience see that should I pick that up but if I'm on stage with you and you drop something it's obvious of course I'm going to pick it up and give it back to you it's so obvious so our own anxieties and issues are much harder to solve than the needs of the other person so if two performers are both concentrating out on the need of the other one it's easy and you don't have to go back in here and doubt yourself it's not part of the issue anymore and in real life the application of this rule would be in conversation or in business dealing of any sort think of real of your real uh counterparties interest yeah thinkle they want to know think the way they want to maybe the volume of voice maybe it's not comfortable for them if you talk too loud right if the person is pretty quiet so think of the other party yes you you'll you'll achieve any agenda you have by not going straight to the agenda okay if at all you probably won't need to if you're just caring about the other person they will think I like this this guy and they will ask you what you do they will ask you want buy want okay
Serhiy what the second rule this is the first one it's an old obvious improv cliche the Americans would say yes
25:07 Skill 2: "Yes, and"
Nick and I heard about this one it doesn't mean I have to agree with you with the content of what you say uh it means um I I accept that your offer that you've just made is is valid it exists and I'm going to use it in some way so uh for example if you open the front door and there's uh a monster uh with Firearms at the front door you're not going to say yes come on in um that that would be a lie you would in fact accept that offer by going no no no so it doesn't mean literally saying yes it means taking account of what you've said to make my next offer okay um so uh so then people always feel listened to and interested in and and they will be interested in you so in in a way you can even repeat what you just heard absolutely to make sure so and that they think oh guy's really listening he's really paying attention because Nick just said this and according to this this right blah blah blah blah blah blah and then I can continue with my own that's it when I when I interview audience members tonight I will be doing exactly this I will first ask a question that either has related to exactly what's happened now like maybe the way they've walked down or something uh or it'll be something to do with um a a normal human desire such as uh that special place for you or uh whatever I think just as a seeding question MH after that I just listen to the answer and I use something from that answer to go further in cool and then I listen to that answer use something from that answer to go further in with the next question okay makes sense so you find out more about somebody uh and you connect more by going further into uh the detail of things they are already passionate about okay than you do by answering 10 questions on different subjects of about them okay okay
Serhiy and one more give us one more we're going to rub
27:55 Skill 3: Connect with Your Body
Nick this okay uh um I would say um connect with your body oh are we are talkers yeah we are talkers and when we're just sitting talking at each other and not using our body at all it's easy to go back into here and worry about whether you're looking or sounding good but when you're connecting with your body and you're using your body you are in the story right now yeah and so you'll have less worry less worry uh so if you're if you're worried in your life right now get up and go for a walk or anything like that
Serhiy yeah Nick the the thing that
28:43 Invitation to Visit Ukraine
Serhiy you said to me off the Record when we met was really really touching because you said that so many actors or so many people uh opting not to come to Ukraine right now oh yeah however we we keep our life we keep living our life we keep building things we keep smiling and and entertaining each other yeah so why why does Discount Ukraine and I want to thank you for coming here and showing setting the example for your fellow actors and International Community that it's safe here at least in KF and uh we really want to invite everybody to come here and uh share their knowledge and um yeah any any word any message that you want to leave Ukrainian it's an international audience with it
Nick it's a absolute privilege to be here and you're you're right about the uh the Ukrainian personality uh it's it's very poetic uh yes uh but also you're always having fun you know even in this difficult which is quite quite like Australians easy fit we're an easy fit so um I think uh you know in the darkest times we we find humor you know helps helps keep us going absolutely uh so it's just a pleasure to be in the company of ukrainians and I might say that most countries I go but uh you mean it uh not every country has the same personality got a national personality um uh so there's that and I mean um for the internation and and and it's also um a privilege to feel that I I can do whatever little bit I can do because uh you guys you're you're taking one for the team here it's quite right what your President says and and and so on that um uh it's it's for everyone you know this this is for all of Europe and and so on so uh okay uh there's not much I can do but I can come and do what I do and at least give my friends and colleagues a hug and make everything like normalized a little bit and to the international audience have you seen the this hotel I'm staying in it's about half the price of uh if you were uh staying in your country probably um full buffet breakfast man uh and uh a lot of fun no one else is is coming to do this it's comptition it's a long bus ride but that's it it's pretty safe do I look worried um and and everyone appreciates you're coming so much so come and do something here get yourself some soul food I hit the microphone it's okay okay and uh uh and you know the whole thing has just been a joy thank you man this was a blessed
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