Torin Ellis: DEI Advocate on Bold Communication, Amplifying Voices & Building Inclusive Leaders — Speaker, Consultant & Diversity Champion | Be Yourself Podcast

Torin Ellis

DEI advocate, bold speaker and consultant — on authentic communication, unlocking potential with precision and purpose, building inclusive leaders, and why vulnerability is part of the human experience

Watch on YouTube torinellis.com
63 minutes
DEI · Communication · Leadership · Diversity

Listen to this Episode

About the Guest

Torin Ellis — DEI Consultant, Speaker, Analyst

An analyst, consultant and speaker who has worked in diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging for more than 15 years, starting in recruiting in 1998

His impact comes not from data and charts but from focusing on the individual — the person in the chair — opening every engagement with an affirmation, a story, then the substance and a clear action

What He Built
recruiting company (1998), consulting practice (2010–11), speaking career (2015–16) — 27+ years in talent and diversity
His Mission
unlocking potential with precision and purpose — making people feel seen, heard, and their time with him worthwhile
On Under-Promising
I want to operate in a way uh that allows me to under promise and overd deliver that's what I'm looking for
On Growth
if there's no grow there's decreation right always always

Key Quotes

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I just believe that vulnerability is a part of The Human Experience

Torin Ellis
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if there's no grow there's decreation right always always

Torin Ellis
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somehow we think that what we're going through is so unique no it's not no it's not people go through this all kinds of crap right

Torin Ellis

Episode Chapters

0:00 Episode Teaser 0:57 Hello from Torin 2:14 Why DEI is Important 5:25 Starting Consulting and Speaking Career 7:36 How Boldness in Speaking Sets Torin Apart 10:00 Power of Communication at Workplace 14:46 Lesson on Patterns From Tony Robbins 16:00 Uniqueness of Torin Ellis 19:24 How Torin Makes You Feel Seen & Heard 21:10 Importance of Memorable Engagement 25:14 A Coaching Question Torin Asks His Clients 28:05 How Torin Grows Leaders 33:43 The Case for Diverse Organizations 38:45 How Do We Set Goals? 41:40 Do Something, Then Evaluate 45:18 Secret Sauce Behind Torin's Brand Success 48:15 Power of Network 51:30 Desire to Amplify People Around Us 54:28 Connective Tissue of Humanity 56:35 Showing Our Vulnerability 59:30 Last Words from Torin

Full Transcript

BTW: This episode of the Be Yourself Podcast is produced by Beverly Media. Also on the show:
Deb Krier — 3-Time Cancer Survivor on Resilience, Self-Advocacy & the Power of Community →
0:00 Episode Teaser
Torin I want to operate in a way uh that allows me to under promise and overd deliver that's what I'm looking for is if there's no gross there's decreation right always always and my style of speaking is to always start with a positive affirmation somehow we think that what we're going through is so unique no it's not so unique no it's not people go through this all kinds of crap right absolutely absolutely I just believe that vulnerability is a part of The Human Experience you have to do something so that you can evaluate something
Sergey hey everybody this is Sergey with the be yourself podcast the podcast on expressing our true selves today I have a very special guest who have been inviting for a number of times already
0:57 Hello from Torin
Sergey tanellis is an analyst he's a consultant and speaker he is a sage in diversity and inclusion space in Americans and abroad and it's not just words I've seen his work and it's the true statement so Toren thank you very much for being a guest on my show
Torin love forces us to remove the mass that we live within and fear that we cannot live without love for forces us to remove the mass that we live within and fear that we cannot live without uttered by James Baldwin I come to you in the frequency of love from me to you from you to every listener I want them to get a feeling of love it is one of the most powerful words in our lexicon and so today we are going to record under a covering a cloud of love let's do it
Sergey Amen brother when when I when I want to watch stuff with you record it or in video or audio format one thing sprang to my mind it seems like you are someone who are breaking the walls the walls that have been established in America you know in between human right
2:14 Why DEI is Important
Sergey so it seems like this this this term Dei which stands for diversity equality and inclusion it's not uh self-explanatory for us ukrainians right even though we do have our our share of History was was really unpredictable stuff going on but in America it seems like these three words bear such a powerful powerful meaning can you give us a little bit of a backstory of why di is so so important in America and why this has been your sole purpose for more than I can see 15 20 years now
Torin yeah so um dni is important because I believe that it is the professional definition of how we um Embrace individuals in all that they bring to the equation listen I'm not naive enough to think that we can have all of the aspects the rambunctious and the toxic and the angry and you know I'm not I'm not suggesting that in the workplace we need to embrace every aspect every fiber of who a person is but DNA suggests that we should be doing more to make space for individuals that are unusual unsuspecting um and different from the majority from um the status quo if you will it became important to me probably in 2010 or 11 officially diversity has always been important to me but from a professional standpoint it became important in 20110 or 11 I started a recruiting company in 1998 I would go out and find individuals convince them to look at the job opportunity that I had set them up for an interview um they would say yes to the organization move on to the next assignment but what I notice Serge is that the higher up in the organization in terms of responsibility and in terms of income the higher up you went the less representation what we saw were a majority of white men we we didn't see the the beautiful spectrum of humanity and so what I said to myself after recruiting for so many years what I said was well well we have to be doing something wrong because I'm able to recruit diverse um talent I I'm able to uh present a variety of options to the hiring managers why are these other people not doing that or unable to do that
5:25 Starting Consulting and Speaking Career
Torin so I got into Consulting in 2010 or 11 I started speaking in 2015 2016 um and and and my speaking success came from me being extremely authentic genuine uh and empathetic I I didn't Focus Serge on um I I didn't Focus as much on data and charts and shiny objects as a lot of other speakers do I I focused on the human the individual sitting in the chair the person who had to put their seat belt on and drive into the office the individual that was struggling because they had to take care of their mother someone who had a sick child at home a person who didn't have enough money from their income so they really didn't know how they were going to pay their rent even though they went to work they didn't know how they were going to pay their rent my conversation has always focused on the individuals inside of our workplaces and so to bring It full circle diversity Equity inclusion and belonging are extremely important and it doesn't matter to me what the political climate or the social climate is saying here in the US or in Europe or in Lam or in Amia or anywhere else what I know is that we are a rich tapestry of people and that we should be doing everything that we can to make space an opportunity and access for everyone and not just a few of us
7:36 How Boldness in Speaking Sets Torin Apart
Sergey 98 you started your own recruitment company at 2011 you started Consulting agency at 2016 you started speaking and you attribute your speaking success to the ability just to give give plain truth not not bit around the bush and not big words you know what I'm fed up uh Fed Up fed up with I'm fed up with people trying to be the smartest in the room
Torin let me correct one thing I do curse uh I curse a lot uh and I will tell you that um there have been uh instances in which I have used an expletive and it has has cost me tens of thousands of dollars and so I I just want you to know but but again it goes back to my being authentic I don't curse for shock value I don't curse um um just to be cool if you will to fit in when I say a word whatever that word is I'm saying it because I genuinely mean it and it fits where I'm going in in my narrative but but to your question um I I can take you back to a story um when I worked in Corporate America it was a very brief period of time but when I interviewed for um a sales job at a telecom company
10:00 Power of Communication at Workplace
Torin when I sat with the person from HR I I said to her that I would I would be promoted in less than a year uh or maybe I said in a year and and she said no one has ever been promoted in that period of time and so when we got to the 10-month mark I actually went up for a promotion now I will tell you Sergey that I was one of the top sales people in the entire building there were 500 people in the building give or take I was one of the top 10 definitely top 20 I went up for a promotion you know I didn't get the promotion and the reason I didn't get the promotion is because the person that they gave it to for a leadership role was a better writer than I was not a better salesperson they were a better writer so what they displayed in their interview was a better plan for how they were going to develop and lead the sales team hear me out okay they gave that person the opening role um it was a top performing sales team I guess maybe two or three months later I think it was two another position came up and I got that one I got a poor performing sales team so two months before I was beat out and the person got a top performing sales team I get a low performing sales team within six months we had switched positions his team was at the bottom my team was in the top three in the building okay there were like 20 teams in the building we were in the top three top five all the time so what it taught me was one you have to be an incredible Communicator if you're going to lead in an organization that's not always the case but more often than not if you are a good communicator you can work your way into opportunities you can work your way into stretch assignments you can work your way into getting more resources you can work your way into better positioning you can work your way into some things when you can communicate it works in the professional quor it works in our relationships it works in our family in our community in grocery stores communication is Central to everything that we do
Sergey so so having a plan is not enough so as opposed to that counterparty that you were in a way competing against they had it all figure out on the paper you didn't have such a crystal clear perfect strategy or whatever but you were just a better more powerful communicator
Torin well I I was a better sales person and as a result I became a far better Communicator yes yes yes because I just recognized I was like why is it that I lost and and not that I was a terrible Communicator because again if I'm selling then I do know how to communicate I just didn't have the structure around my plan so I had to become an even better communicator and and I will tell you over the years sergy what has really played into uh my my desire to deliver I'm not trying to emulate anyone else but what I did spend time doing in the late 90s I would watch people that had talk shows and I would watch how they interviewed their guests and and how they layered their questions how they engaged how they didn't just speed to the next question how they showed that they were intimately listening what did you say to me you said 19 98 you said 2011 you said 2016 you just recapped again you are listening intimately to me I learned how to do that I became a better listener and that Al also influenced my ability to become a better Communicator
14:46 Lesson on Patterns From Tony Robbins
Sergey it rings the bell of one thing that I learned just recently I watched tny Robbins interview at some podcast just just the recent one and he's he's really big on this idea of recognizing patterns sure he says that everything in our life is pretty much repeating itself and if you're able to recognize the pattern you can be a king of king of the world and he says that first step is to recognize pattern that something is coming then the second step second superpower is use the pattern to your advantage learn how to use the part pattern and third thing is like this masterful skill of creating a pattern right so I think with speaking is what with what we do in podcasting I also standing on the shoulders of the great right I do have my heroes who I emulate I try to introduce guests like them Chris Williamson uh Joe Rogan absolutely you know but the same time at some point you start shaping your own style your creating your own brand
16:00 Uniqueness of Torin Ellis
Torin yeah I would say uh for me it probably was right around 2016 when I started uh because I what was different is the next question man so what differentiate you from others is the second like logic question yeah no problem so for me it it was almost when I started because I knew number one Sergey that I was tackling a subject that was a little challenging you know a lot of people didn't want to sit in rooms and listen to conversation around diversity and inclusion white men felt like you were attacking them every time you brought up diversity inclusion uh African-American individuals or black individuals felt like we've heard this movie before we've seen this movie before I don't feel like listening to it so I knew that I was tackling a subject that on both sides and that's just two of the very many dimensions but on both sides you had people like wh why do we got to listen to this so I knew one that if I was going to deliver this message which was uncomfortable challenging um in some ways punitive but could be promising if I'm going to deliver this message in a way that people are going to receive it I had to come different so number one I had a style and my style of speaking is to always start with a positive affirmation the very same way that I started our podcast is the very same way that I hit a stage we always start with a positive affirmation that sets the tone for where we're going to go and chill It Gos to our humanity and human inside of us right absolutely absolutely and then we dive into a story there's a way that I want to set up the learning that you're about to experience I tend to tell people Sergey that I'm going to take you on a vocal Journey when I take you on that Journey it starts with an affirmation moves into a story and then we begin to talk about the meat of why I'm here we always land the plane with some action item how is it that you can participate what's the one thing that you can do and so when you say well torren what what what makes you different well that's the sauce that people can't duplicate you know nobody has my swag you know they don't have my frequency they don't have my Cadence they don't have my bounce you understand there's so many other little things that I get to do that other people just can't do they may be smarter than I am they may know a technology better than I do they may make more money than I make they may have been in the business buiness longer than me but when you it's the combination it is the it's the combination of who I am that makes me dangerous on a microphone and so that's and that's not a bragging thing it's just I am unique Toren is the only Toren
19:24 How Torin Makes You Feel Seen & Heard
Torin so when we get into an engagement uh and when I say an engagement whatever that is if I'm in interacting with you this is an engagement this podcast is an engagement a speaking assignment is an engagement a Consulting mandate over 12 to 18 months is an engagement writing a research paper an analyst paper that's an engagement so I'm trying to unlock the potential I am working extremely hard to do a couple of things wherever I am number one I want people to know I hear you I hear you and I see you because it's important for people to be heard and to be seen and to feel like they are important so when appropriate I am eliciting I am I'm sorry I'm soliciting feedback and participation and engagement and query and you know doing different things in the audience can I lob sergey's question you know hey you know what torren got the microphone I don't need to I don't need to tell people what makes me difference I love the question Sergey hey you over in the first row far uh seat can why don't you answer sergey's question for well you and and you know what before you leave stand up so everybody can see your smile uh and then then I want you to pick somebody to give those are the things that we do to make us different when we are are speaking so number one I want to make sure people feel seen and heard
21:10 Importance of Memorable Engagement
Torin the second thing that I want to do whenever we are engaged is I want to make sure that our time spent is valuable I I never want a person to feel like why did I invite him or I never want a person to feel like why is he our consultant I never want a person to look at my LinkedIn post and say I ain't sharing touring stuff by the way it happens more than I wanted to but I don't want a person to look at my stuff and say I'm not sharing his post because he's probably only talking about himself uh so I want people to feel like when they engage with me it is time well spent and then the third and final thing that I want um when I am when I am working or engaged with an individual is I want I want it to be memorable I'm not trying to excite a person just for a moment I want them to say you know he talked about diversity and inclusion and honestly I ain't doing enough there's some other things that I can be doing I I've excluded some people from some meetings that I shouldn't have excluded I I've said said some things about people in emails or at the water fountain or as I'm driving to an off or at happy hour I've said some things about people on the team that I probably shouldn't have said I know that we can be doing some different things in the organization as it relates to how we are uh training our employees how we are recruiting our employees I know that we can do something different about how we are even selecting places to go for happy hour do we always go to to the same place or are we curating events that are different that are going to let the people that are single parents come and participate are we going to curate happy hours that allow people that have to care for their parents to come and participate or are we going to always do things at the golf course are we going to go out for this or are we going to experience something different that culturally signals that we really want everybody to feel like they're involved that's what I want I want people to feel I I want them to remember that they were engaged with I don't ever want to be um a thief in the night a fleeing moment I want people a month from now six months from now a year from now to say damn am I doing enough for Humanity and if I'm not then I need to pause and I need to check myself because I need sergy just as much as sergy needs me we are miles apart but I need him in this moment just as much as he needs me
25:14 A Coaching Question Torin Asks His Clients
Torin let me um Let me let me give you one of the coaching questions that I have for every uh coaching client that I have I always ask them in our first session what will it take to eradicate hunger Hunger Hunger in the world in the world I don't need an answer but the question and the response that I'm getting at is for them to say my participation I ever drop in the water accounts they give me money they give me all of these different things but often times they never say for me to care that's it first you got to care okay and then you have to do something so when we talk about that unlocking potential I got PE I got to get people to understand what role do you play how do we help you unlock your potential what is it that I need to do to develop you to inspire you to underg you support you so you what what do you need from me because when you tell me what you need from me then it's my responsibility to give it to you especially if I can and and as long as I'm giving it to you then I'm I'm modeling I'm showing you what it's like to be an incredible a good leader I I'm giving you the the development I'm giving you the inspiration I'm giving you the resources I'm giving you the support I'm putting you in position so you can run so you can move I'm giving you all of that so now in exchange in return I want you to give me something and so when I ask that question what will it take to eradicate hunger I am simply looking for them to say I gotta care or I got to do this and when they say I I'm always smiling because I know that we're going to have the types of sessions that are accountable that they're going to be accountable that they're not looking at the next person they're not blaming their circumstances they are going to be accountable if they miss an assignment they're going to be accountable if they don't do the three things that they told me that they were going to do they're going to be accountable this is not a person that I am going to have to cuddle listen some people don't say I and they're still accountable I just know that when they say it in the beginning I know I have an idea of the type of person that I'm going to be working with in a consulting or coaching posture
28:05 How Torin Grows Leaders
Sergey it it it perfectly takes us to to the next topic of the leadership because what you just outlined are the traits of a true leader who starts from the man in the mirror right so what makes a great litter man and in the same in the same breath what what makes a great communicator um I don't know if these two roles intersect I believe so I believe that Martin Luther King I Have a Dream man everyone was able to visualize the black and a white kid playing in the same sandbox right so I think that a lot of Trades a lot of qualities and skills of a great liter and a great communicator they actually coincide so how do you how do you make leaders how do you help leaders to become better how do you grow leaders tell me tell me some of your approaches
Torin absolutely so for me you know growing great leaders is um really reinforcing that we have to model what that looks like and sometimes it requires that they learn or break some of of their learning if you will they have to un learn some things before they can begin to learn some things for for some individuals when you reference Martin Luther King and that I have a dream you know most people that are intimately knowledgeable or aware they know that the first portion of that presentation was of a totally different nature that the I Have a Dream piece was extemporaneous that was not a part of his speech it was truly a dream simply standing and talking and getting in that flow and being authentic and being present and in the moment if you had listened to the first X number of minutes of the presentation and then the final minutes of the present the two didn't go together so you have to sometimes help people understand you know listen what you've been doing all this time it may have gotten you here but that's not really indicative of what great leadership looks like so I think that great leadership really depends on people one like I said a moment ago being willing to be accountable number two they have to be coachable you got to understand it listen I don't know everything I'm making this investment in terms of time and relationship in this resource here because I believe that this resource can help me to be better and you as a coach have to be able to demonstrate that you have the acumen that you have the experience that you have the process that you can help them change their structure or their system their protocol so that in of in in their doing as you've guided them to do that things are going to be better and so I just try to show people my resume I try to show people here's how we work with clients in the past uh here's some of the accomplishments that we've experienced here's some and when I say we they so let me correct that here's some of the accomplishments that they've experienced and we just try to find out you know ways that we can complement the work that they do I don't try to be all things to all people I stay and stand on my Square I stay and stand on my Square this is the way that we operate if it's for you awesome if it's not for you I appreciate you wish you the best of luck but I want to operate in a way uh that allows me to under promise and overd deliver that's what I'm looking for
33:43 The Case for Diverse Organizations
Sergey let's pretend I'm a CEO of an American middle-sized organization right and I and I need your services or someone says that hey Toren is a great guy to work with and you have rooms for improvement right why can you tell me why should what should I want to have a diverse organization why do I have what why do I want to have people of different races of different cultural backgrounds on my team like can you make a case because it's really difficult for me to understand right why should we Americans need to try to bring as much di into the workforce
Torin man yeah so um there's a couple things that I'm going to say to that first of all we we just have so many dimensions that we bring to the equation we bring cognitive Dimensions to the equation our learning style our mental ability our emotional intelligence we bring physical uh difference our identity our ability our race we bring relational difference we're um in different relationships we have different family Dynamics we have different habits we bring occupational difference we bring societal difference our ethnicity our education our language our origin we bring various values to the organization my attitude towards social uh uh uh ills may be one way yours is a different way our political differences may may align um May I'm sorry our political leanings May align maybe differences so as you can see Sergey we bring so many dimensions to the workplace and the beauty in that is that it allows us when it is working in concert it allows us to get to some different solutions I don't want to be in an organization where everyone thinks the same let me give you an example in the 1970s when people from the disability Community wanted to come to Washington DC to argue for legislation they didn't have systems of transportation that would accommodate people in wheelchairs you know what they did Serge they what they put people in wheelchairs in the back of moving trucks now in the US we have these companies called Rider and U-Haul uh and some of the others were when you are moving your apartment or your house your furniture from one um domicile to another you roll it up a ramp in the back of a big box truck and you are able to put all of your furniture in there your bed your dresser your couch your refrigerator your stove a bunch of boxes all of it will fit in the back of this truck because it's big open spacious you know what they did in the 70s for people in wheelchairs they rolled them in the back of these moving truck TR chained them to the sides of the truck brought the door down and drove them around no windows no air no safety they were chained in wheelchairs to the side walls of a truck we now have Vans and vehicles that have ramps and lifts on them to bring people up in a wheel chair and position them in a place and lock their wheelchair in so that they are safe and that they are mobile and that they can move about it required someone with that experience to be able to exercise their voice and talk about how unsafe and uncomfortable and um just unhuman that that it was for them to be transported like animals that's the easiest way to they were transported like furniture you don't treat people like Furniture you don't move people around like animals so the reason why diversity and inclusion are important here and abroad is because it allows us to get a multiplicity of ideas of opinions of benefit of experience of layer of of of of texture it allows us to just throw in a variety of difference so that we can get to solutions that impact the greater good of humanity
38:45 How Do We Set Goals?
Sergey so um let's shift gears to talking a little bit about uh goal setting I'm really interested because you're a coach man and this is something that I've been asking people from my network for like these last three weeks how do you set goals is it important to conclude the year and what is your approach to concluding the year and how do you set goals and and maybe you can tell me the the um the zones of life where you set goals and if you then compare the accomplished goals with with what you initially set so I'm super super curious about that man because we all want to be we want to be I want to be happy this is my Northstar metric I don't want to be successful like I don't want to I want to measure my happiness by by any any I don't know like metric but we still need metrics I think in our life so what metrics and what goal setting system do you use
Torin uh toring yeah I don't know if I really use a system but what I will tell you is that you know for me it's always about how do we extend the the boundary of progress H how do we push that boundary out a little bit further and so I'm always evaluating um you know what's going on in in in my professional or personal life one thing that I try to do uh Sergey is that I am focused heavily on how I allocate time so a couple of years ago I started using calendly because I hadn't been doing that it it had been just a matter of you know going back and forth on email trying to identify a time and someone introduced me to cenly and it changed my life it was like January of 2022 if I'm out to founder oh my gosh it change it changed my life and so I I understood that uh by by making that simple like you said Simon s by making that scheduling process simple it gave me so much efficiency in or it gave me more efficiency in how I was able to move and so then what I did was I said so what are you doing with this time you got you got some time back so how are you using that time so the last couple of years I've been trying to evaluate what's my execution quotient am I am I executing at the highest level
41:40 Do Something, Then Evaluate
Torin so here's here's something that um Mark Randolph I I think he was a co-founder of Netflix one of the things that he said is as a Founder you have to do something so that you can evaluate something that's not exactly how he said it but he said what we what what a lot of Founders tend to do is they tend to get they start with this idea and then they start adding and adding and adding and then the next thing you know they got to go raise a bunch of money because they feel like they got to hire a bunch of people and and and and they haven't done anything to validate the idea resp from the market nothing well in a well while in effect he said when they started Netflix they tossed around the idea of mailing a couple of things I think it was a CD v v VHS something but what they did was they actually went to the store bought whatever it was I think it was a CD they bought a CD went to the uh post office put it in the mail two days later it was at their house they said all right we've solved one problem we know that we can mail a CD through the mail and it'll get there not broken what's the next thing that we need to do so I say that and share that story because for me goal setting is about how do I extend the boundary I I know what I've accomplished so if I want to get more clients in 20125 then what am I willing to do different and how am I going to execute and what's it going to require of me can I do it in the same amount of time do I have to invest the same amount of money in marketing do do I need to spend more time with my clients do I need to network more what's my execution need to look like and so I am always fine-tuning my execution but but the boundary has to be extended it cannot stay constant you we got to grow if there's no grow there's decreation right always always
45:18 Secret Sauce Behind Torin's Brand Success
Sergey I I I can testify to the fact that you a really busy man I've seen you we couldn't we couldn't we couldn't do this podcast for a few month and it uh talks to your uh to the how busy you are at the same time I don't see a lot of a lot of marketing uh on display from you so what is the secret Source in terms of marketing how how people find you
Torin first of all that's a great call out on your part that observation around you know my social footprint my activity um the amount or not of marketing that I do great great call out on your part and and if I'm honest sergy I could do more more I could do more in terms of marketing I just don't have the bandwidth or uh the right components in place to handle that marketing but that said I've gotten by for 27 years because I've always done good work and my reputation accompanies me when I show up my reputation shows up show up my reputation shows up because I live up to whatever people have experienced or or heard about me if you will so I I will attribute my busyness my ability to navigate various rooms to be in places um on a fairly consistent basis you know I attribute my 27 years to my as I said in the beginning under promising and over delivering so if I'm speaking I'm going make sure that I get the crowd lit if I'm Consulting I'm make sure that I deliver an Roi if I'm uh participating in a panel I'm going make sure that I am the an incredible moderator or host for that particular event I'm always trying to make sure that I let the right people shine when they're supposed to shine
48:15 Power of Network
Sergey tell me about the uh the network effect how important is that and how do you how do you like you you mentioned empathy like do you are you born empathetic or do you become empathetic how does how does it work can you learn how can you teach someone to be empathetic
Torin yeah I do believe you can learn it you can teach it um or combination of the two some people are born and consider their themselves to be impacts but but I also believe that you can become that and oft times it happens as a result of an event a circumstance or a condition you experience something and it happens to someone close to you and then you open up that sensory opens up and you're like wait a minute that didn't really feel good um or I didn't like that for that individual and I don't want that to happen for other individuals and so you can become and take on that posture in terms of a network I absolutely believe that they are important uh I used to speak in high schools you know to uh 15 16 17 year olds that were going to high school and I would do a presentation time talent and treasure and and I would give an example of how you spend your time um I I would talk to them about how to nurture their talents but then when we got to the treasure part they always thought that I was talking about money and I said nope I'm talking about your network the way that you are building friends now and continue to build friends in college or university as some people call it and then how build friends and network in the workplace if you start that process now understanding how to build friendships that are genuine and sustaining you will continue to build on that and you will understand how to nurture a good Network one of the things that works for me is people know that I'm always trying to amplify others I'm always trying to lend my privilege I can speak at almost any conference that I want in the HR space man that's these days I'm trying to I'm trying to get on conference schedules and then curate speakers I'm not I'm not necessarily trying to get there so that I can speak for a lot of these events I'm trying to get them to trust me to bring new voices to their event so I'm trying to lend my privilege I'm trying to amplify other people that's the stage of life that I'm in I want to see other people shine and flourish and and be you know Amplified and pushed up
51:30 Desire to Amplify People Around Us
Sergey so in order to become an efficient networker we have to think about how we can amplify others absolutely and they need to know that you're all about that you're not about your like only thinking about yourself and but and and it's it cannot happen by accident you have to genuinely want to make people around you better and you know man with my podcast when I when I fall when I go to bed at night you know and I stay uh with my thoughts and I and I think to myself like why am I doing this because it's not a commcial project I spend money on doing this podcast you know but when someone tells me that they learned something and they're thankful that I brought this Global Perspective this American expert you know and they they were able to learn something because of me I mean this this is worth of all all the effort you know so I think intimately we all we all want to give back but it just happens in different in different period of our life we come to this realization a different time of our life you know that maybe it's enough for ourselves and I I personally realize that you know our life is like breathe in and breathe out and breathe in breathing in symbolizes taking and breath is breathing out symbolizes giving back so usually we we we first breathe in we take and we breathe out we give and it the idea crossed my mind what if we first give back in order to then actually breathe in so the world will give you everything you need and Beyond if you just if you if you if you start giving back
54:28 Connective Tissue of Humanity
Torin yeah because that connective tissue of humanity is powerful um and you know there are some individuals who don't really um admire hold it um in a place of value but the majority of us sergy we we really feel like you um you know that being connected to others is important it's critical and so you know for me family is uh extremely important every Sunday many of my family members we come together and we have family prayer at 8:00 pm we've been doing it for almost 15 years every Sunday we started a new tradition last year where I'm getting my nieces and nephews and we're having a New Year family dinner and when we bring the nieces and nephews together we talk about an investment strategy and something to build stronger relationship with the family so we've only been doing that now for two years but we try to do a variety of things as a family because they are extremely important and what we try to tell our children what we try to tell our nieces and our nephews cousins what we try to do is remind them that when all else fails these are the individuals that you are going to have lay on you know it's these they may not always make you happy they may not always be in a position to do the things that you want you may not always be interested in doing what they want but in the end it is your family they are your family
56:35 Showing Our Vulnerability
Sergey how do we do we always have to show that we're not perfect I'm not I'm not even sure that I'm formulating this question correctly maybe you're going to understand me from like just fill me on this one but we always want to show our shiny best self is it is it beneficial to sometimes show that you know we're in a bad place we're not perfect
Torin I think it is uh you know a moment ago I shared with you how we failed at my newsletter I think it's good for us to be transparent and what I tell people you know even in Consulting that if you're going to be if you're going to be honest about this work then you have to EB and flow through empathy intentionality proximity and transparency and so that last one of transparency is very very key you're right most people want things to seem like they're always okay social media social media presents beautification of the stuff everything everything is okay and I know that everything is not okay and I think that it's always a there there are times here's what I will say there's something called the four Gates of speech and so I would I would enur encourage or challenge your listeners to Google the four Gates of speech and if you read that and understand those four Gates then you will know that there are times where that transparency is going to require you to be a bit vulnerable but that in you're being vulnerable you are saving someone you are repositioning someone you are preparing someone fortifying someone be vulnerable so that that other individual or individuals can make progress in their life as well we got a lot of people suffering in silence they don't feel like they can come and talk to you Mr or Mrs perfect you know they don't feel like you are willing to spend time listening to what they're going through and so what happens for some of them they make poor decisions some of them decide to end scenarios and situations up to and including life because they feel like they can't go and talk to you no there's no one to can relate to them in fact there are a lot of people who can relate to them somehow we think that what we're going through is so unique no it's not no it's not people go through this all kinds of crap right absolutely absolutely so they need to know and so I just believe that vulnerability is a part of The Human Experience
59:30 Last Words from Torin
Sergey man let's wrap up this show um first I'm gonna I'm gonna thank you so so much so dearly for for uh coming to my show and I think you you are a perfect perfect my perfect first guess of 2025 and I want to give you the stage to say some words of encouragement and inspiration for people in Ukraine in the US all around the world on what what what should we focus on this year to be happier to be more successful
Torin yeah so um I chose a word for the year my word for 2025 is promise and that I'm going to every single day I'm chasing the promises that are due unto me the chasing the promises that um I'm working for whether it be projects to start uh a new organization whether it be building relationships I'm chasing the promise in those relationships I'm chasing the promise in collaboration partners and new vendors so my word of the year is promise I would encourage every listener find a word you may or may not do New Year's resolutions but I want you to find a word the second thing that I want you to do is find your extemporaneous moment going back to Martin Luther King you have a pre-designed or predestined or preformatted way of showing up of speaking but there are going to be those times where in them situations where you need to get in the moment and be prepared to get in the moment don't feel stuck because you can't transition fluidly and get in the moment and then the last thing that I'm going to say surge before I say thank you for um just for having me I appreciate you for allowing my um my global voice to be a part of your agenda and format for everyone um so the last thing that I will say is bad will be the day for any man or woman that become absolutely contented with the thoughts that they are thinking with the Deeds that they are doing with the life that they are living when forever beating at their soul is some great desire to do something more to be more to give more because after all they are a child of the most high God
Sergey it was Tor and Ellis everybody thank you you're looking for a quality video production provider look no further my name is Sergey and I own Beverly production we are a video production agency from Ukraine you know we help entrepreneurs to create incredible online offline podcasts and clips that drive interest you know to promote your podcast as a podcaster myself I early realized that there are not that many podcasts that put an emphasis on quality and creativity you know just making your videos look really really cool that's why we mix our videos up with uh different visual aids sound effects flash transitions we do dynamic switching and other cool creative things that just set apart your podcast from your competition you can check our samples on the website and uh we also help people to post the videos so we take over YouTube management and we can also run Tik Tok and Linkedin for you so if you're interested in something of this kind don't hesitate to book a call with me uh the contexts are available on the website thanks a lot